


What haunts us

by Lenja98



Series: Togheter [2]
Category: Virgin River (TV)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Established Relationship, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:08:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28287492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lenja98/pseuds/Lenja98
Summary: Jimmy is excited to celebrate his first valentine’s with Calvin. And asks Calvin about it. But things do not go according to plan.
Relationships: Calvin (Virgin River)/Jimmy (Virgin River)
Series: Togheter [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2063466





	1. An unexpected turn

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: This work contains mentions of past abuse and rape.  
> It also contains werewolves and alpha/beta/omega dynamics.

It was Jimmy’s first valentine’s day with someone. And not just anyone, with Calvin, his mate. Jimmy was excited to say the least. But he had several challenges ahead. Firstly they had no permanent home to speak of. Always on the move. And secondly he didn’t know how Calvin felt about this kind of stuff. From what Jimmy understood, Calvin’s previous partners hadn’t been the romantic, caring types. If you could call them partners at all. Calvin certainly didn’t. Jimmy sighed.

This was gonna be difficult. He wanted to spoil Calvin rotten and shower him in love and affection. But that most likely would come off as too strong. They hadn’t been together that long. They were still getting to know each other both as friends and people, but also as mates.

Jimmy had sat down next to Calvin on the motel bed, and just went for it.

“So…? Valentine is coming up. Thoughts?”

Calvin’s whole posture went rigid. And he turned his head slowly from the book he was reading. He looked at Jimmy with a guarded expression. They hadn’t really done much more than making out. They had only had sex once, when they consummated the mating bond.

Calvin was trying to calm his nerves, not to let his alpha notice his fear. Cause that’s what this was. Utter and cold paralyzing fear. So far Jimmy had been nothing but kind and caring. Affectionate and tactile in a loving way. But maybe it had all been a rouse to earn Calvin’s trust. Make him let his guard down. Maybe Jimmy was just like all the other alphas Calvin had the unfortunate luck to meet. The ones that said it was their right to just take and take. And Calvin’s job to just stand there, or in most cases, lie there and take it. Being obedient and compliant. 

Jimmy looked at Calvin, who’s whole demeanor had changed by his question. Jimmy tired smelling the air, but Calvin was good. Nothing gave away how he felt or what he was thinking. So Jimmy decided asking what was wrong might be the only option.

“What’s wrong? It was something I said, I know that much, but uhm what exactly about it?” He said it a bit worried and as softly as he could.

Calvin’s eyes were on his, but with this empty look. Like he wasn’t present, lost in thought. When Jimmy didn’t get an answer. He slowly moved his hand towards Calvin’s face. He put his hand feather light against Calvin’s cheek. But the reaction he got was surprising. With a whimper or yell, Jimmy wasn’t sure, everything happened so fast. Calvin had shot up off the bed and went for the door. When the door wouldn’t give, due to his stressed state. Calvin dived for the closest corner. He made himself as small as he could, still no scent was given off. And Jimmy just sat on the bed trying to process what was happening.

When he heard the faintest whimpers, they were so quiet that even with his hearing, he had to strain to hear it. It was Calvin. And Jimmy reacted on instinct. He answered the whimpers with a purring sort of sound. A sound he didn’t know he could make. He started moving towards Calvin slowly, like you do wounded and frightened animals. He stopped a bit away, so Calvin could make his way past him if he needed. And then he sat down on the floor.

“Calvin, love. Please, what’s wrong? If you don’t want to talk about valentine’s day or even think about it, we won’t. I… I just need to know what’s wrong. And how I can make it better. Seeing you like this, it tears me apart.”

Calvin was trying to get back to normal, he truly was. No alpha liked it when he did this. But they usually just slapped the sense back into him, and then did what they wanted. Why didn’t this one? This one was strange. He hadn’t gotten mad and started to yell at Calvin. No, instead, he sniffed the air, this alpha sent out calming and reassuring pheromones. And if he looked up a tiny bit, the alpha just sat a bit in front of him. No menacing or threatening over him whatsoever. Well except that it was an alpha. Calvin knew looks could be deceiving.

“What do you want?” He asked quietly.

“Sorry you have to speak up. I couldn’t really hear that.” Jimmy said, he kept his voice gentle and reassuring.

Calvin knew alphas didn’t like when he mumbled or didn’t speak up properly. So he took a few breaths to try and calm down enough to answer adequality.

“I asked, What do you want?” He said in a monotone voice. Then he realized he forgot the most important part. “Alpha.” He finished. They loved hearing their designation, like a confirmation of their power, and acceptance from Calvin.

“What do you mean what I want?” Jimmy asked. He couldn’t get what was wrong with the question. But something was, and he wanted to know why. 

Calvin looked up and studied the alpha. He sounded genuinely confused, not just the fake kind he sometimes heard from alphas. The way they could act just to placate him into submission. Manipulative bastards.

“I asked. What. Do. You. Want? You think just because you waited till valentine’s it will be kinder somehow. Well, you’re wrong. It’s not. So if that’s what you wanted, we might as well do it right now. I won’t even…” Calvin bit back. Enough, he thought to himself. No need to make it complicated.

Jimmy looked at Calvin and then asked tentatively. “What is it we might as well just do right now, and not sugar coat in valentine?”

Now Calvin was getting angry rather than scared. Did this alpha really think he was so gullible that he bought Jimmy’s confusion?

“Oh don’t play games with me, I’ve had enough of those to last me a lifetime. I meant if you thought doing it, and by it I mean sex, on valentine’s would somehow make you more honorable or make it more romantic for me. Then you are dead wrong.”

Jimmy just stared at Calvin. Yeah sure he might’ve thought about having sex on valentine’s. But they were not only gonna do that. He had wanted to do all that cheesy romantic stuff first. And if Calvin didn’t want sex then he wouldn’t mind. He was just so happy he had Calvin at all.

“Ehm Calvin… I won’t deny that, yes, I thought we were going to have sex. Maybe solidify the mating bond a bit. But that was not all I thought or planned that we were going to do that day. And I asked you or I tried to ask you, so I would know what you like or would like to do on that day. But given your reaction I am thinking you should just ignore me on that point.” He couldn’t even look at Calvin. He felt terrible.

Jimmy remembered how it was when they met. How he could feel Calvin’s reluctance to accept that he had a mate. And then all the misunderstandings and close calls where Calvin would leave him, most of the time it was only a few hours. But on rare occasions a day or two. It scared Jimmy half to death. Not knowing if Calvin was okay? If he had gotten into trouble. Or if he was in fact on his way back. Or even thinking of coming back at all.

Jimmy had his suspicions on why Calvin acted that way, why he didn’t want to trust him. But he tried not to think about it. He hoped Calvin would tell him when he was ready, no need for him to speculate and spiral out of control.

When Calvin’s brain started to work on the more rational plane again, he realized that this wasn’t any alpha. It was his, this was Jimmy. He was just a few years younger than Calvin. And yet, to Calvin, most of the time he seemed like a pup. So naïve, trusting and carefree. He wondered if all alphas were like this before they learned how society was. And that they had in fact lots of power.

“You are so naïve, you know that right? How do you think my life has been up until I met you? What makes you think that valentine’s has been anything but outright terrible, a living hell?” Calvin tried not to sound mad, Jimmy couldn’t have known.

He wondered what kind of life Jimmy must have had to turn out the way he did. Not knowing how omegas were treated, out on the streets, but also behind closed doors.

Jimmy looked at Calvin with pure anguish.

“I am so sorry Calvin. I will try not to make assumptions in the future. I’m going to go out to get some air. I’ll be back.” He wanted to give Calvin a kiss to his forehead. Like he always did if he had to leave, but he stopped himself. Now didn’t seem like the right time.

As the door closed with an audible click. Calvin laid down on the motel floor, just trying to be right here, and to calm down. Get his brilliant brain back. Jimmy had apologized to him. An alpha had apologized to an omega. That was entirely new to Calvin. Maybe Jimmy was different. And that most of his faults were more due to inexperience and honest curiosity. Not some mind game to get Calvin to do what he wanted.

Now that Calvin thought back on their time together, Jimmy had always been a true gentleman. Asking Calvin questions, like how he felt, what thought, if there was anything he wanted or wanted to do. No alpha Calvin had the shit luck meeting had ever cared about him as a person, an individual. In their eyes he had just been another omega body, perhaps a bit more obstinate but otherwise just the same.

Maybe it was time to tell the kid, tho kid might be wrong, since it was just a few years between them. But with a lifetime of experiences that separated them, and Calvin could call him kid if he wanted to.

He didn’t want to talk about how he was taken so many times against his will, by different alphas or the same, with no regard for him. But he had a feeling he needed to, if he wanted this mating bond to be good. To have a life worth living together with Jimmy.


	2. A visit to the past

When Jimmy came back it hadn’t been more than two hours. Calvin had gotten off the floor and switched out his pajama set. He was now dressed in a t-shirt, regular jeans, worn down sneakers and a hoodie, Jimmy’s if he was not mistaken.

“Hey.” He said quietly. “Come with me, we are going for a walk.” Jimmy just nodded and let Calvin lead the way.

The place they were staying at was close to an abandoned building. And Calvin may or may not have explored it when Jimmy had been gone for an errand or something. It was relatively easy to access the rooftop. And to Calvin that seemed like a good place to talk on.

Besides, if it got too much he could find strength in the stars, all which glimmered across the night sky.

Jimmy stayed quiet, letting Calvin be in control of this. Not to mention he didn’t know what he would say anyways.

Calvin led him to what looked like an abandoned building. They walked around the back and sneaked in. Jimmy didn’t want to know how Calvin knew his way around this place, it would only add to his stress.

When they stepped out on the rooftop Jimmy was in awe, the stars looked beautiful. Not as beautiful as Calvin of course, but close. As Calvin started moving towards the edge, panic began to set in. Jimmy went to grab a hold of his arm. Calvin stopped and looked at him with his head tilted a little bit. “I thought this talk might be nicer to have outside under a beautiful night sky. I want to go sit on the edge. Come on.” He said softly. Jimmy looked a bit uncertain but moved to follow. 

"Can I just say one thing first, before you start?” Jimmy asked. Calvin nodded and made a go on motion.

“Calvin. I don’t want to make you do or say things you don’t want to. What happened earlier was a reaction to something I said, I know that. But also most likely to something I did. And I don’t want to do that to you ever. But to not do it again I have to know. At the same time I also understand if you can’t right now. I’ll wait on you. We can just sit here together and watch the sky, that’s just as nice.”

“As much as I want to say yes to that offer. I think it’s time. Hopefully after this, we can start building something. Something real and lasting.” 

So they sat there, for what felt like hours. Jimmy listening and offering his comfort and love as much as he could. And Calvin talking and talking, tearing up old wounds like never before. He had to stop a couple of times trying to remind himself that this alpha was not like the ones in his past, and in his head. This one was supposed to be home and safe. He wasn’t in that place anymore, he was somewhere else.

When he had finished talking he felt like he could sleep for a hundred years, he was emotionally drained. He cast one look at Jimmy, and saw that the alpha was crying silently. Calvin turned his head to the stars. They were truly beautiful, they didn’t have to deal with this stuff that mortal beings do. Like now. He was so perplexed, here was this amazing alpha. Crying for him, for his pain and suffering. And Calvin wanted him to stop. He didn’t want Jimmy to be sad. But at this moment Calvin couldn’t bring him any comfort. So he sat there and just gazed at the stars. With the only sound that could be heard in the night, being Jimmy’s occasional whimpers. 

Jimmy knew Calvin’s life before him had been tough. He wasn’t thaaat naïve, or maybe he was. Because he couldn’t come up with anything close to what Calvin had told him. This beautiful, amazing, smart and wonderful omega, was treated as nothing more than a warm body. It truly made his blood boil and his heart break in anguish. He wished they had met earlier, maybe he could’ve saved Calvin from some of this hell. 

When he had mourned and collected himself enough, he taped Calvin ever so carefully on his shoulder to get his attention. Calvin turned his head from the stars and looked at Jimmy. His expression unreadable.

“I don’t really know what to say Calvin. I don’t know if there is anything one can say to this. But I am going to give it my best. If you’ll let me and feel up for it. I want to fill this day and every day with joy and happiness for you. I want you to feel like this day and life is not what it used to be. That there are other things than pain and suffering at the hands of others. Would you let me try?” Jimmy asked him tentatively.

Calvin really couldn’t understand his alpha. Jimmy was nothing of what he was used to. He apologized, he listened to Calvin, he wanted Calvin to make decisions and to lead when he couldn’t. “Normal” alphas would never let Calvin do anything, even if he was much better in that given situation/field. But Jimmy surprised him at almost every turn. Maybe they would be good together in the end. 

“Yes. I think I’d like that very much. But I should probably tell you it’s not going to be easy. _I_ , am not going to be easy.” Calvin felt bad that his past affected him so much, but it is what it is. At least he doesn’t have to face it alone anymore.

“Nothing easy is worth having anyways.” Was Jimmy’s simple answer. He stood up and held his hand out to Calvin.

“I don’t know about you, but I for one, am freezing. And also I am really tired. I can’t imagine how you feel. I suggest we go back to the motel, and try to sleep for awhile before we have to get going.”

Calvin just nodded and took Jimmy’s hand, letting himself be led back. 

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize for any wrong spellings, grammar mistakes and inconsistencies in the text. I don't own the characters or the main story that this is based on (Netflix's series and the books by Robyn Carr).
> 
> I do not support abuse or rape, and I am sorry if I chose to portray it offensively or beautify it in any way.
> 
> Reminder that this is a work of fiction.


End file.
